Week 4: Countdown, Breakdown & Calm Down

Lyric of The Week: “Black hole sun, won’t you come and wash away the rain?” Black Hole Sun, Soundgarden

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Tuesday: Everyone else has these shots of themselves, like they actually find themselves attractive. Like they like how they look and want the world to feel the same. Why don’t I? Because I don’t like how I look. Usually. This pic however, is me taking a step to get over my hatred of pictures. Plus, I look like my grandmother in this shot– so I like it more than most. She was one hot lady.

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Wednesday: ALMOST AT MY GOAL! On our last blog, I took a picture of me standing on the scale with one leg hanging off to get it to read 155. This pic had no photoshop or prestidigitation. This is me. 155. Overall, that’s 36 pounds down. YAY ME! 5 more pounds and I say goodbye to the Newports.  Pray for me.

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Thursday: Today, I put my kindness above my broken heart and listened as a friend to him while he was going through it.

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Friday: Today, I put my broken heart right back where it belongs and sat in the parking lot and cried like I got shot. Then, I went out, had some drinks and some laughs and some . . .  um well, you know what I had some of. . .  and left completely under one understanding about my love life: when it’s real you can’t half-ass it. It’s better to walk away and leave it on the table than half-ass something real.

This is my truth.

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Saturday: The ocean reset me. The horizon was right there. And it breathed life back into me. So did watching my beautiful niece play in the waves and my nephew throw sand in his own face. ❤

This week, looking back, is over but- unfinished, somehow. I can’t comment on it. I feel like there was too much, too many ups and downs and too much spatial disorientation: loss of view of the horizon. But, I survived.

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