So we come to the end of another blog. This one was focused on each of us looking toward our horizon. As I read back on week 1 I realized what I set to do I have accomplished. I worked toward a better me. Added and deleted things as needed and was always in control of my life. Through it all I have kept my circle small and family at the center of it all. Even though I filed for divorce and divorce was finalized I never broke down. I took each bump in the road and learned from it. This blog was about growth. The biggest growth I had this year was the growth of my heart. I learned to love again and to accept someone loving me. I was blessed that even though one chapter closed the next one still included those I hold dear to me. A piece of paper didn’t make us family. Years of love, road trips, shopping trips, crying fest, and sisterhood made us family. The fact that family is not always blood was proven this year. The fact that you can’t help who you fall in love with. The fact that as we get older we get wiser. And the fact that the HORIZON IS WHAT WE MAKE IT. Well in my year long journey I believe I just began to reach my horizon and I will continue to grow, love and learn about life all because of my FAMILY. Burn rubber not your Soul. When you feel like you’re falling reach your arm out because they will be there. And at the end of the day give back to those that can’t give. That in itself is the biggest reward. Feeling Blessed!
It was shocking and breathtaking to see how far I’ve come since last year. Some things haven’t changed but the ones that have make this journey amazing and my horizon reachable. Here’s to the past molding me for my future.
Lyric of the Week: “I don’t wanna… love you…don’t wanna…need you… just wanna… leave you. I just want it to be over. ” -To Be Over, Keyshia Cole (If this is a repeat, lyric… get over it. It’s relevant again.)
And this being the first Sunday without football just…sucks. maybe I’ll take all this free time to start my book. I dreamed the title and opening pages this morning… yeah, that’s my goal for next week. Start the book.
Ending a year and beginning the next was week 24. Getting ready to say goodbye to 2013 was emotional. Looking back at what happen, what didn’t happen and what is in the process of being done was on the front of my mind. In general 2013 was good to me. I learned to be ok with me, myself and my current situation. I had to make a lot of decisions this year and I’m proud of myself. I am truly ready for 2014 & beyond.
In 2014, I will cuddle more often, go to the gym more often, take time for myself, plan trips, sit in my livingroom more often and last but not least I will love the me I am because I deserve to be loved.
Theme Song of the week: All of me by John Legend “head’s under water But I’m breathing fine You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind”
NEW YEARS EVE AT HOME WITH MY LOVES AND THEIR LOVES.
Lyric of the Week: “Gyal, me wann fi hold yuh. Put me arms right around ya. Gyal, you give me the tightest hold me eva get inna my life. Gyal, me wann fi just squeeze, yah put me tings all around ya. Gyal, you give me tightest hold me eva get inna mi life. ” -Hold Yuh, Gyptian
This week, I got out of my shell and mingled with new people and old friends in new ways, shared my nieces obsession with her new dolls and helped her buy her mom a heartfelt gift, looked at my monstrous pile of Club shirts and made some tough decisions, helped score a 466 (!) and was encouraged to finally fill out that APPLICATION (!!), had some banging food (that normally I would never eat) got a fancy makeover from a new 4 year old friend, took advantage of Christmas sales for myself and finally– just kept looking forward to the horizon instead of looking back.
The week was amazing and not what I expected. A difficult week of memories turned into a week of new memories.
Sunday was a bucket list first. Center field with the Giants and Raiders after a 850am shot and tailgating with some new friends. The day was first class from start to finish.
11/12/13 was a touching loving caring amazing day. The moment when words don’t really need to be said and/or you can read between the lines is PRICELESS.
Remembering the good times I had with Todd was good for my heart. I felt like he talked to me just when I needed him too. In fact, this week he was with me from start to finish. Everything happens for a reason and his friendship got me ready for something so amazing words can’t express it.
Thursday I celebrated two peoples birthday. My little man and my little sis. I went from cupcakes and toys to shots and sis hugs. It was a great kick off to my long weekend as a sales manager. Yes, this woman can be mother, friend, sister, aunt, professional and Lexy all in the same day.
I rounded my weekend out without to many tears. Remembering a difficult time in my life with love in my heart. Chopping away at my Bucket list by going to the movie theater alone. Seeing an amazing movie that was everything I needed and some things I didn’t know I needed. It’s amazing the signs you are sent when you are already there.
My horizon has never been this focused ever. I see where I am going, where I need to be and where I want to go. All things worth having are worth waiting for.